What is your Perceived Value?Dealing with Finances is not something everyone enjoys.  Some of us are even quite nervous about it.  My relationship with money can best be described as a love hate relationship.  It has taken me 49 years to realize that my relationship with money was directly tied to my emotions.  When I felt stable and secure, my bank account reflected that very thing.  When I was sad, or feeling depressed, my bank account also reflected that.  The issue of worthiness also came into play.  I have begun to wrestle with the question of what I think my perceived value is.  How much do I believe I am worth? Of course, the answer to that question is most likely bazillions(yes, I said bazillions) of dollars if our egos had anything to do with it, right?  However, I am talking about my worth in relationship to the world around me.  My contributions, my work, the information I have to offer.  I am so passionate about my work, yet setting a monetary value on that work feels like a contradiction in my heart at times.  I struggled with this for years until I had a conversation with a client of mine.  I shared with her that that the whole Perceived Value Issue was a struggle for me, and she responded by saying:  “Ahh, but it keeps us both accountable!”  How Beautiful is that?  For years, coaches have been telling me that money and my relationship represents my own self worth.  I understood that, but it was still hard for me.  But, accountability?  I can understand that, and it feels fair.  Monetary value brings accountability to both me and the people I serve.

Paying for services or information, makes all of us accountable for that knowledge.  Paying for food, makes us accountable not to waste it.  I am beginning to understand this relationship more as I grow older and have more experience to draw from.  The same is true for the other end of the spectrum too.  If you are trading a service of any kind for monetary value, that value holds you accountable to be precise, passionate, and in integrity with yourself and those you serve.

Self worth is not defined by monetary means but by accountability, trust, integrity, and other traits that allow us to have inner peace and expansive ideas.  However, without accountability, those things have no container in which to sit.

Perceived Value can fluctuate.  It is always in transit.  It represents our past, present, and future.  Our Perceived Value is growing constantly, and in return is nurtured by accountability.  This lesson continues to be one that brings me both pain and joy in the midst of my own accountability and my own perceived value.

May Today be the Tomorrow you always dreamed of…

Angel

I ask many women in my practice what would make them happy.  The number one answer to that question is almost always: “Lose Weight.”   I recently started working with a business coach, and then she asked me the same thing.  I responded, as I gulped down Isogenix.  I scribbled the words… fit into my skinny jeans.  I too, struggle every day with being the weight I think I should be.  Up, down, up, down, its similar to a roller coaster ride at the amusement park, but far less thrilling.  As I looked at the women who came to me for counsel and myself, I started to really listen to their stories and pay respect to mine as well.  I started to follow the blogs of women who get it, and are attempting to teach us to stop the insanity.  However, I saw something else too.  I saw that all the Strong Women I met looked at their body size with hate, resenting the extra pounds that were on them.  Me included.  But, the problem was not that we needed to lose weight.  The problem was that we needed to decide when to give up our blanket of love.  The blanket we wrapped around ourselves for warmth and protection.  Our blanket sees us through nights of endless tears, sick babies, divorce, death, tragedy, stress, sickness.  Our blanket keeps out the bad guys and keeps our inner child warm and toasty and away from danger.  It is up to us to decide when we do not need this blanket anymore.  This decision is much like a toddler when he decides to give up his blanket for the big boy things to come.  The truth is that sometimes we need this blanket, and we should be proud of our ownership.  We survived.  We conquered.  How dare others criticize our blankets?  No one is immune from needing extra comfort and protection.  The thing is, we must stop condemning our blanket and honor it.  It has the same merit as a quilt made by loving hands that took months to complete.  This is no different.  When, we are truly ready to release our blanket to the universe, it is then, and only then, that this shedding will be done in integrity,and for the goodness of the owner. It will be permanent.  When the time comes to release our blankets and break free of our cocoon, like a newborn butterfly, the blanket will never return, because the purpose was filled, and it will find the next recipient in need.   This is a choice, and one we make out of love and respect to ourselves.  It comes not just from changing habits outwardly in regards to food, but with blanketed layers of feelings, tears, hopes, and disappointments.  So, I hereby today, replace my title of “fattie” to Honor Blanket Society Member who is working on giving hers to the Universe so the next recipient can survive just like I did.  If you are willing to hand down your Medal of Honor too, then continue to treat yourself healthy, but remember that no matter what, the blanket of honor will only go when you truly decide you have no further need for it.  It is that loyal.  That dependable.  Those are not traits to hate, but to honor, respect, and release.   We are not losing fat..we are releasing all of the protection we no longer need.  So, what will your next blanket look like?  Without this one, you will need to think about the beautiful new one that is awaiting you.  Maybe a bit lighter, because  you are so much stronger, wiser, and hotter!  Yes, hotter!  Hotness does not come from the shedding of pounds.  Hotness is the result of someone growing expansively internally so much that they no longer need the extra protection!  Yes, you heard me!  We say we are getting smaller, but we are growing oh so much more expansively!  So, this is for all  my fellow women and men in the struggle for hotness with me!  Heres hoping we get really, really big, and can shed our blanket to the next person feeling small inside, so they can survive until they grow too!

May Today be the Tomorrow you dreamed of,

Angel